Photoessay #2864 - My mother's yahrzeit

Yesterday was my mother's yahrzeit (anniversary of her death) four years ago at the age of 85.

I wanted to go to services and, as usual, my husband agreed to come with me.  Naomi is living with us and I asked her to come also.  They jokingly said that they would come if we could have pizza.  They didn't mean that but I bought pizza anyway.

We don't belong to a congrgation, currently.  Though we do consider it.  So we went off to the local reform congregation, Temple Beth Am.  When checking out the time for the service, I discovered that the married couple rabbi team who I liked were no longer there.  When did THAT happen?  Almost a year ago, shows how much I'm in the loop.

Apparently they had already hired a junior rabbi, had an interim rabbi and have just decided on a senior rabbi.  The junior rabbi, a young man, led the service.  I was surprised at how keenly I felt the absence of the previous rabbis even though I didn't go very often.  But, by the end, the young rabbi had made it his own.  He did very well; I think he will be a success.

As usual, the service seemed a mish mash to me.  Not that it is disorganized, it's not but there are things from my childhood; things I maybe heard maybe ten years ago, things heard somewhere else, some things new.  As I've written, a whole generation of prayer books passed me by.  And the influential Debbie Friedman?  After my time.

One thing that this congregation used to do, maybe it's left with the departure of their rabbis was a long period of Hebrew spirited singing right near the beginning.  Catchy tunes.  Struck me that the congregation must have learned it when I, as usual, wasn't paying attention.  They didn't do that last night, maybe parts of it.

This congregation usually has dynamite live music.  There were two young people singing with guitars.  They carried the day, for sure.  Again, things may be different when the new senior rabbi comes this summer.

One new thing that I like a lot is the 'new' melody for the shema.  In my youth, it was a flash of lightening kind of melody.  Right out there, loud, emphatic.  This new one is inward, kind of chanty, repeated.  Makes you want to sway and be transported.

You have to understand, Jews are always into the melodies of the prayers.  This way or that way.  My way or your way.  New way or old way.

So the 'mi chamocha' prayer.  Not the traditional way.  Sounded very familiar to me, but not from my childhood.  Must be a Debbie Friedman version, I thought.  But now I realize that Debbie Friedman's mi chamocha was the Miriam song thing.  No, that wasn't it.  I can't quite remember but they didn't sing that.

Maybe, just maybe, that was Robin Taback's version.  And, the more I think about that, it doesn't really matter if they sang Robin's version or even if she had a mi chamocha melody.

I think she did.

Robin Taback was my sister's best friend in childhood.  She went on to make aliyah (move to Israel), marry, have two sons.  She died young (in her thirties) of breast cancer.  She was an influential singer and musician.  My mother and her mother were friends.  My sister made sure that Lou Ann (Robin's mother) came to her daughter Teresa Robin's bat mitzvah.

So, it would be beautiful and meaningful if the young people sang Robins' melody during my mother's yahrzeit.

I will declare it so.

Picture  of my mother with my sister and myself.  This is very near the end of her life October 2009 and she died in Feb 2010.    I decided to use this one because she's having a very good time here.  I made a trip to Rockford and we went to the apple place in the country and, as usual, went out for swedish pancakes on Sunday.  I think my brother is taking the picture in front of the pancake place.