44 Years!

Today is our 44th wedding anniversary.  This picture popped up on Facebook so I had to use it.  June 20, 1976.  Dennis and I in the middle, we're getting married.  I had my sister Pam as my maid of honor and Dennis had our friend Matt as best man.  He still reads my blog so I'm sure he will see it.

This was before the wedding-industrial complex so you could do things pretty simple.  I'm been involved with that racket and its expectations with my children's weddings (we did 3 weddings in 4 years.)  But we look pretty nice.  For some reason I didn't want to wear a white dress.  Just to be ornery, I didn't have any good reason.  We still were in the era where his mother picked out his clothes (she did a good job too).  Matt looks good, they look coordinated.  I'm wearing the wedding lace as a bertha there.  Pam had it on her dress.  Ilana had it on the back of her dress and Megan used it to wrap her bouquet.  We were married in the living room of his parents' house and then had a reception later in the afternoon in a beautiful space in a condo development.  We were 23 and 24 and we didn't think we were young at all.  We were all thinner then, more hair too.

Grandfather Beittel married us.  I liked him and admired him.  It was only later that we found out about his role in the civil rights movement.  That's been a source of pride for both of us.

My wedding officiant

Another new meaning from events from the past.

When I was planning to marry my husband in 1976, back in the day, 38 years ago, I pondered who should marry us. Religious affiliation tensions flowed in from both sides.  Not serious, not dealbreakers but still there.  My parents, wanted a rabbi and that was fine with Dennis, and me, but a lot of rabbis won't marry when one is not a Jew plus there was nobody in Sacramento that came to mind.  We did do a blessing thing at the Friday night service.  Dennis' parents, though not churchgoeers, started making Christian noises. 

The whole wedding-industrial complex did not exist at that time.  Thank goodness.  You could not go onto the internet, like Ilana did, to find a compatible wedding officiant.

I pondered and thought, what to do, himmm.  The, one day at the work, it came to me in a flash.  Grandfather Beittel!  Yes!  That was it!  He was an eminent minister, Congregational or something.  The families were so close; I continue to be close to that whole family.  He was like a member of the family.  My parents wouldn't object; Dennis' parents would think it was ok.  I really liked him.  Perfect!  I vaguely knew that he had been the president of some small colleges.  In the south or something.  That was about it.

I asked him and he did agree to marry us.  Now I find out that he was very involved with the civil rights movement and spoke out freely.  Which sometimes caused him to lose his job.

I happened upon a PhD dissertation "A Beacon of Light:Tougaloo during the Presidency of Adam Daniel Beittel (1960-1964).  I admit I have not read it all yet.  But I sent it out to members of the Beittel family who sent some interesting feedback.  I contact the author and passed on their comments.

Interesting times.

We were married in Dennis parents' living room and then had a larger reception.  Though we had most all of the trappings, nothing like what's generally done now.  And I know as two of my children have had conventional weddings in the last year or so.

Photoessay #2424 - Me rocking out with the bridesmaids

I know, I know, another picture from the wedding.  But Danny put this one up on Facebook and I couldn't resist it.

Look at me, mother of the groom, rocking out with the bridesmaids.  Actually that''s Megan behind me and Susanna behind her.  The mother of the bride is on the right in bright pink strapless dress.

I am wearing my backup shoes, with the lower heels or I probably would have killed myself.  I think Megan and I are the only non-Asian people in the shot.  Which was kind of how it was.  Which is how a lot of my life is.

I gotta say that's a great dress.

Very very fun.