At a team meeting, I suggested a 'Classic Changes' approach. The family's adult daughter was continually badgering them for money. The parents agonized because they knew of their daughter (and grandchildren's) problems. But the requests had become demands and they suspected some substance abuse issues.
When to say yes? When to say no? What if something horrible happened because they didn't immediately send money?
I suggested the team could handle the requests. The parents could insist that, if the daughter wished to request money, that they talk to the panel not to the parents. The panel being the team members. They will send the daughter a short letter by postal mail including our first names and phone numbers. Should she call one of us, we would collect the information about the request as completely as possible and confer with the other panel members. The panel will present the request to the parents as appropriate.
The panel members are not emotionally involved. The parents will refuse to talk about money with their daughter, instead respectfully refer her to the panel. I made up that term on the spot. Sounds official, doesn't it?
The parents have to really trust their team to do this.... We'll see!
Picture of ANOTHER panel used without permission from the Center for American Progress.
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