We had planned to do a Changes moveout today. When a family decides that an adult son or daughter may no longer stay at their house, they may plan a moveout with their team. The parents need to be very clear that they are ready for their adult child to be on their own. Unsubsidized. Independent. Usually the adult child does not want this. Usually not working, not in school, hanging out, using.
The adult child gets a letter saying that the parents expect them and their things to be moved out by such and such date. No discussion. The parent and their team organize a moveout, a whole bunch of parent group members come over to move the adult child's belongings. The parents get a truck and a storage place. The belongings get moved and the adult child gets the key.
A huge commitment to non-violence. One member (not the parent) is assigned to talk to the young person, just that one person. Another person (peacemaker) watches and is the decisionmaker to call off the operation if things look like they might escalate into violence. If so, that person gives a sign and everybody leaves.
This protocol was developed 13 years ago. We've actually never called a moveout for violence. We haven't done that many moveouts. A moveout did get violent; that's when the protocol was developed.
So we were going to do one today. I would have been the peacemaker and I think there would have been a high chance of being cancelled in the middle because of escalation. I've been with this young man several times.
But he packed all his stuff up and arranged for a place to go. So it's called off.
Picture from Daily Dot. Used without permission.
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