The last workshop that I went to yesterday was 'Writing the Hidden Story' which is mining your own experiences, feelings and revelations as a source for your own writing.
A story that is disconnected from YOU is nothing more than a clever work exercise.
My piece about Ruth was about my quest to learn what had happened to my husband's grandmother. The relatives weren't talking. I read a book with a chapter about endemic encephalitis. I guessed that's what happened to her. Years later (now), when I had more time and resources, I did some research and found out I was correct, her diagnosis was encephalitis induced psychosis and parkinsonism.
But, while I was working on the piece, I started suspecting something else that didn't fit into my story line. That Ruth may have been mentally ill in addition to the encephalitis induced illness. You know what they say, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that somebody's not following you.
Lanaya developed some alarming mental health symptoms late in her life. What if Ruth was mentally ill herself in addition to the encephalitis? And what if the tendency is inherited? Lanaya feared 'going crazy' like her mother. Maybe it happened?
But I didn't include that in my story. I thought.
Last Friday, I participated in the non-fiction workshopping session. I had taken the comments from this class, revised my piece. Unfortunately I sent the wrong file so the six people saw my original piece.
One of the workshop participants was an older woman who had been very active advocating for the rights of mentally ill people and their families. She picked up from my piece that Ruth was already mentally ill! She brought it up during the session. It was like she read my mind!
When I think about it, I can see that I've disclosed some clues from very incomplete sources of information. But it points me in the direction where my writing teacher keeps pushing me. I tend to keep my subjects at arm's length. The narrator does not want to disclose her own feelings.
She comments:
It seems like a lot of the feedback you got from our group was already pointing towards making the story more about you.
So what's the hidden story? Why did I write this? Was it really 'any of my business'? I responded to the mystery, why Ruth was so suddenly and completely absent? Now, that I have the resources and inclination, I was free to inquire. So I have. Maybe there are advantages to advancing in age in our temporal life?
I started the piece in response to the prompt "Whispering" from my Inner Circle group. I thought, when has somebody whispered to me? I thought of Cousin Alice whispering to me about "sleeping sickness" which is why I started with her remark in my first draft. As I wrote it, I realized that I could find out, it didn't have to be a secret. I didn't have to ask any permission, So I set on that quest. But when we got the records and put Ruth's story together, the striking loss of this young woman's life made both me and my husband so sad.
We both felt a bit finished. Ruth's situation was even worse than we thought. We knew enough about this sorry situation.
My colleague with the mental illness background who identified the situation from my story is urging me to get the records from the other hospital.
I solved the mystery to make some sense of my husband's family. I now feel I can let it be.
Maybe that's the hidden story? I just don't know.
Picture used without permission from www.michaelbales.com "Cracked Window" about a search he made for the home of an historical figure which wasn't as it seemed.
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