Photoessay #820 - Don't assume

A friend of mine brought my attention to a well-written engaging blog that she's been reading for a long time. A woman who lives in a rural area with two school age children.

I've just been reading for a few days and this person just switched to blogspot so I can't see the older posts.

aside...One day I looked at a picture that I had and thought...Have I used this picture before in my blog...but then I realized. Who would know? If I don't know, none of my readers (few and valued) would know either. Who would care?

But one thing she wrote made me want to put the brakes on FAST. She was writing about a new calf with the picture of the calf nursing.

She mused (I've just taken her children's names out)

I doubt that it will even occur to (my two children), as it did not occur to me, to feed their babies with bottles. The natural way is the only way they know.

Aaack, aaack, trap! Don't go there!

I am a member (for many years) of a local parenting group dealing with severely acting out teens and young adults. Issues like drug use, mental health, school failure, violence, legal charges, runaway, etc etc. Many caring conscientious parents who cannot figure out why WHY their children are making these decisions? Breaks their heart. They come to us 'with their hair on fire'. Hey, I was there.

One thing we work on is 'getting out of their child's head' and 'separating your issues from their issues'.

Yes, indeed your children may agree with your strongly held view regarding breastfeeding.

OR NOT!

You can never assume you know how your children think especially as they approach maturity. And you certainly cannot assume that they will think like you! Or even that you get to know. It's their life. None of your affair.

Making that assumption that you know how they will think and act is a formula for heartbreak. Maybe these children will think "in my life, I am going to do things differently"

Certainly you can do the best you can living a life consistent with your values (I am also an advocate for breastfeeding). And likely, they will make similar choices. But the bet for the future is to be a model for them and understand that you will accept the choices that your adult children make about their own lives.

Ummmm, doesn't that sound familiar? Yes, I have two 'stands', things that I am continually working on as a parent. One of them is

"I will accept the decisions that my adult children make about their own lives"

Image used without permission probably from Mothering Magazine