Photoessay #710 - Sibs

I was corresponding with a friend from Parent Group and she mentioned her sisters; how they were so important to her. So I talked about my siblings. And the last time we were together, my sister's bat mitzvah.

So myself, my sister Pam, my brother Charlie at Temple Beth El on the occasion of my sister's bat mitzvah. I know the light reflects in our glasses. But, since I take most of the pictures, I don't appear in many. Some might say that's a good thing...

My sister wearing the tallit, the prayer shawl. On the occasion of her bat mitzvah. Now I thought you couldn't wear one unless you had a bat or bar mitzvah. But my brother says, they always have some extra ones 'at the door' and it doesn't matter. Or at not least to him as he has not had a bar mitzvah and he wore it, no problem. Don't ask me, I don't know. Apparently you don't have be bat or bar mitzvah to say the aliyah in this congregation because we did it. Charlie and I did the second aliyah (the picture in my previous post shows Tony doing the first aliyah) together, he chanted the Hebrew and I read the English.

I convinced my sister to have her bat mitzvah in advance of her daughter, Teresa's bat mitzvah in July. She really wanted to do the aliyah for Teresa and, in her congregation, you have to be bat or bat mitzvah.

"It doesn't have to be big deal," I said, "have your own day! Don't get it all mixed up with Teresa. We can have it on a Friday night, just modest, it will be fine."

At first she worried "But I really think mom can only make one trip, I want her to come in July for Teresa's"

"Have it in Rockford"

"But then my friends won't be there"

"Do you want your friends or mom?"

She thought a minute "Mom".

"So have it in Rockford"

"They charge a lot if you are not a member"

"Mom's a member, isn't she? She can have a bat mitzvah for her daughter, right?"

Pam agreed, the fix was on.

So the plan was to have some flowers on the bima, have some challah and grape juice, maybe some cookies and fruit. Why not?

And that's how it worked out. My mom added a sheet cake to the mix. And fancy napkins. My mother, Teresa, Charlie and myself had flowers to wear. My sister was adamant, she didn't want any.

There's some deal that my brother and I have to do next month in Indiana having to do with passing the torah to each other. Anyway, I'm sure my sister will tell us. My mother insisted that she wanted to give a little speech, I guess the parents of teenage bat and bar mitzvahs do this. Can you tell I'm a bit rusty? Anyway, she and I wrote the speech, she was very definite in what she wanted to include. Her main concern was getting up the stairs to the bima. But with my brother's help she did it and gave the speech.

My sister intends to do close to the whole big deal for my niece. It's important to her that this event should meet community standards. With all this fuss all weekend. I'm sure it will drive us nuts.

But it benefited my niece, Teresa, to see this different style. The focus on Pam rather than Teresa. That you can have a real quality event in a modest fashion and still be very nice. "I kind of like this" she commented. All very doable. If you haven't seen it, download my brother's lovely little booklet he made with my pictures.

As the oldest, somehow I think that I'm always the one who knows what everybody else should do. Pretty ludicrous in middle age, don't you think? But these birth order issues stay with you.

I'm quite close with my siblings, want it to stay that way!