More thoughts about memorial services

The other day, I wrote about a memorial service we attended for somebody very dear.  He belonged to a parenting group where I am also a member.  He was active in in the group for seven years and served on the board.  Over 30 members of the group attended.  I had written that somehow I had felt that we were left out.  Another member who I saw the next day said the same thing.

But yet another member I saw today pointed out that this was just the way that Don would have wanted.  Our group is relentlessly private and confidential.  "Who you see and what is said here remains here."  Lots of the time we work behind the scenes.  Kind of like AA.  You might be really involved but nobody outside needs to know and you're not to name anybody unless purposely asked.  Very sensitive information.

Yes, I thought, I understand.  I agree.

And the 30 plus people there, we all knew how close we were to Don.  And how close he was to each of us.  And really it didn't have to be acknowledged publicly. Because we all knew.

That's what counts.