Ilana called me last night and BEGGED me to tell the story.
I've done two exercises from my writing book, laying out the story, one involving the 9 elements of the story and one structuring the story as desires and scenes. I think the first exercise is more rigorous but the second is a bit more complete.
A tragic story, the story really concerns Priscilla but I'm dragged in at every turn. I'm 18 at the time.
Remember this is a work IN PROGRESS. Picture again of Priscilla, I have very few.
Desire-I really want to leave home and go to UCSC, I'm happy to have the eccentric Priscilla to come with me also to be a UCSC student
Scene 1 – portrait of Priscilla as a high school extreme intentional outcast, though I don't know how she felt Priscilla so brilliant, tremendously talented. I KNOW that she will go on to do great things, no doubt in my mind. (1969)
Scene 2 – My father takes Priscilla and I to UCSC for a visit (spring 1970)
Desire – I'm at UCSC and I want to soak it all up, socially and academically.
Scene 3 – Crown College – something to show that both of us are getting along great (Fall 1970).
Scene 4 – Priscilla tutoring me in Honors Calculus. It's SO hard, I'm SO discouraged, I have a hard time getting it.
Scene 5 – I decided to take spelunking, talk Priscilla into it
Scene 6 – Priscilla LOVES spelunking (her fatal flaw), often approaches me to go with her. But I'm wondering why I ever wanted to go in dark holes in the ground, I'm more interested in having a boyfriend
Desire – I'm dismayed with Priscilla's obsession with spelunking
Scene 7 – Priscilla comes late at night, begs me (and boyfriend who has a car) to give her and some friends a ride to some caves that supposedly go all the way to the ocean. On the cement plant property in Davenport on the Pacific Coast north of Santa Cruz. It's got to be a secret. Sounds like a crazy idea to me but I'm young and stupid and she talks us into it. (Dec 1970)
Scene 8 – We go to cement plant property in the middle of a rainy windy dark night with a group of spelunkers. Driving around on those dark dirt roads in the pouring rain with the headlights off. Let the spelunkers out. Stuck in mud, almost drive off cliff
Desire – I'm more interested in college activities and a boyfriend
Scene 9 – Boyfriend and I decide we will make love, really do it. This decision has been discussed and on the table for awhile. We do. I spend the night with boyfriend (Jan 1971)
Scene 10 – I walk back to the my room the next morning, kind of blown away by the whole thing, need to think about this.
Scene 11 – When I get there (just across the quad, less than 1 minute walk), I find the place in turmoil. Something terrible has happened. Lots of loud voices and drama. I'm sucked in immediately, somehow I'm involved. It takes me awhile to start getting the picture. Priscilla has died in a spelunking accident. At that same site at the cement plant. Some kind of head injury accident. My two RAs on my floor were part of the party, they are hysterical, terrified, also afraid that they will be held culpable. I don't know what to do.
Desire – I just can't believe it! Priscilla??? I want to help
Note: As an adult, I know realize that there's a million things to do when somebody dies. I don't remember or was not aware of all the things that must have taken care of.
Scene 12 – The college calls me in and asks if I will greet and accompany her parents as they come to collect her things. Because I'm her friend. I've maybe met her parents once or twice. I agree
Scene 13 – The parents come and I walk around with them and help load her things. Somber. Terrible sad job. If there's a memorial, I never hear of it.
Desire – How to remember Priscilla
Scene 14 – Discussion of what kind of memorial at Crown. People who don't know her think it should be something about caving. No! I have some say. Spelunking was the death of her. I suggest some books about mathematics. That's what she really loved.
Scene 15 – For years, I keep thinking that I see Priscilla on the street. She's there just beyond my grasp.
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