We had a memorial service for my mom shortly after her death in Rockford Illinois. My siblings and I had the chance to plan it during the last week of her life. My mother had held my father's memorial at the downtown funeral home. I marveled that my brother and sister did not see how comicly creepy that place was, straight out of a southern gothic movie. When we went and visited, they all of the sudden could see it. We decided that we would look further since we had some time...only the good lord knew how much.
We considered the temple but the rabbis was right in the middle of having a baby plus my mom never liked the rabbi much anyway. My mom knew her backup rabbi and she didn't much like him either. Probably it would be a mid-week service. How many people would come to the synagogue? We decided that the Wesley Willows community was more important. How about Chaplain Brian? My mom liked him; we all did. And what about someplace at Wesley Willows. The chapel was taken; I didn't want a room in the basement. We ran into one of my mom's neighbors Helen and she got us thinking about a room in the new Town Center building across the street. They had a beautiful new room upstairs from the main lobby. Light, lots of windows, available. Yes, yes, we'll take it. They wanted to do the catering through them. Yes, yes, that would be fine. We talk to the catering manager, I estimate 100 people, we suggest fruit and vegetable trays plus cookies, punch and coffee. Fine, I don't even ask the cost, tell them to put it on my mom's bill.
Chaplain Brian agrees to preside, whew a load of our mind. My mom's likes him, he seems a little unlikely, later I read that he's from the Salvation Army, somehow that fits. He panics a bit when he hears that it's a Jewish service. "Oh! Oh! I'll have to get a book to know how to do this" We keep assuring him, don't worry we'll take care that. And Pam does with help from her rabbi in Lafayette. Plus as we went along we kept adding more and more Girl Scout references (much to my brother's chagrin but, at some point, he goes along with it because we're doing it anyway).
My parents wished for their cremated remains to be interred at the Mishkan Israel cemetery in New Haven CT after they both pass away. My cousin Mary Ann makes all the arrangements. We went and did this last weekend. The rabbi did a simple service, did not even try to talk about them individually as he did not know them. Again, fine. I spoke along with my brother, sister and cousin. I gave out the booties. A very hot morning in the sun.
Pictured Chaplain Brian Kenney of Wesley Willows and Rabbi Herbert Brockman of Temple Mishkan Israel.
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