Photoessay #705 - Dropout!!!

I will be doing a program at Parent Group next week. I gave a version of this program quite a few years ago. Great opportunity to work it out.

DROPOUT!

Currently, the success of children and adolescents is measured by their performance in school. If they are doing well in school, all is well. If they aren't, then we have a problem.

As conscientious parents, we believe in supporting our children in their education. We pay attention to their classes and homework (along with current implied contract that the schools push that our children's homework and performance is OUR responsibility). We monitor our children's performance and attendance. We support the teachers and school whenever possible. We often volunteer in the school. We provide the supplies and place to study and complete assignments. We want our children to be successful in school.

We want our children to graduate from high school. Of course we do. That's a given. In fact, we would like them to attend college. A four year college would be best.

Young people who do not graduate are

D*R*O*P*O*U*T*S

Dropouts!!!!

Bad, very bad. No, not our kids, nope, of course not. EVERYBODY KNOWS that everything bad is highly correlated to whether the child is a dropout. Everything. Drug use, poverty, disease, pregnancy, gang involvement, criminal behavior.

Cancer, nuclear war, global warming it's all related

Everything is worse if you are a DROPOUT! And we let that happen??? Couldn't we have DONE SOMETHING???? We don't want our kid to be like THOSE KIDS. Um, waidaminute, they already are, never mind.

So, I am going to suggest that we stop using that word. No more 'dropout'

But what if your child does not graduate from high school. Turns out that it doesn't really matter. Of COURSE, you would like them to.

But they can still go to college. You only have to be 18 to attend community college. That's it.

Think about it. If your child does not complete high school, their transcript is likely to be a mess. Not exactly University of Washington material?

Our community is rich with alternative ways for young people to complete their education. We had the lady from the CEO come recently. Most community colleges have high school completion programs. You only need 20 credits to receive an adult diploma.

GED programs abound! My son was tricked into getting his GED by his employer. They told him that he had to have a GED to get a certain promotion. So he went to Lake Washington Voc Tech, paid $40, took the tests and, just like that, he had his GED. He never got the promotion btw.

I'm not exactly promoting fraud but....if you put that you graduated from high school on a job application, who's going to go check?

The traditional, go to high school, get good grades, do outside activities, apply for a 4 year college and attend...only works with a certain group of compliant young people. It's great when it works.

But didn't we just talk about our kids, who are not following that straight and narrow possibly learn important life lessons long before their compliant peers living in the dorms.

So, sigh, get over it. Your child's academic performance and participation in high school is not your issue. You can't control it. No manner of invented incentives will work. But we certainly can get all tied up in knots about it. Many times, I have seen parents (hopefully not in this group) who go to elaborate efforts to set up just the best alternative education plan. Usually involving a lot of the parent's money and transportation.

Whose plan is it? The parents. Does the child successfully participate? No. Because it's not their plan.

Then I will continue with a discussion of negative thinking, catastrophizing, jumping to that terrible conclusion.