One thing that struck me when I go through my parent's slide collection (I know I should get back to it) was how particular my parents were in regards to what I wore and how I looked. We had school clothes and 'good' clothes and play clothes. We had 'good shoes' and 'school shoes'. Everything was ironed. No stains or rips allowed. White gloves when appropriate.
When I grew up, I realized that I didn't really have to do that. Probably to my social detriment. But, as I age, I realize, hey I'm 57 years old, still married, active in my community, employed. I never was any good at it anyway. When I went to college, it came as a completely pleasant surprise that you did not have to wear matched socks.
I know, for my husband and myself, going shopping and particularly clothes shopping is a terrible chore, put off until it's absolutely necessary. And then some.
In deference to my sister, I put together an outfit I wore for her bat mitzvah. I even wore some pumps and not by birkenstocks and, if you know me, you know that never happens. She was a bit miffed that it was black because it's April. What? I thought that went out thirty years. But then I live on the left coast. We're going to the more involved bat mitzvah for my niece. I'm going to wear the same outfit. Even though it's JULY! Like I'm going to go find another one?
Unfortunately (or maybe not), I have raised my kids the same way. There is only one true standard. Holes. If it's a fancy occasion, I say, you may not wear anything with holes in it. They respect that. As young people, they have their own ideas about their apparel. Whatever. Since we don't have problems with provocative or offensive clothing, I figure it's their choice.
You can see I don't have high standards. Though sometimes, I do complain to my 22 year old daughter that she should brush her hair.
I was pretty shocked to see the dvds of my cousin's kids weddings. All the men work suits and ties and the women wore cocktail dresses. What? That's how it's done. Pictured is the wedding party that Dennis was in about three years ago. Bride and groom on right. First best man, Fred, is in the center. Dennis who was second best man on the left. Bride's sister, daughter and father round out the wedding party. I think Vielle's (the daughter) lei was given to her by Pat as part of the ceremony. Very untraditional ceremony, involved a lot of the wedding part marching round and round in circles in the middle of the guests. Fine. The money went into the band because they dance and most of the guests were dancers.
Regarding the apparel, one afternoon Pat, Fred and Dennis got together to decide what to wear at the wedding. Pat said that he had just purchased a Hawaiian shirt that kind of went with Marjorie's dress. Fred and Dennis both said that they had Hawaiian shirts so bob's your uncle.
Dennis asked for the dress code for the bat mitzvah. He hasn't worn a tie in years, nobody can remember how long. In fact, the tie collection was lost for a long long time, only recently unearthed and Naomi wore a tie for something. Doesn't own a suit. Or a sports coat. Got through professional employment, this wedding, memorials for his father, mother and father in law without a suit. My sister is not happy, she says it must be a suit and tie. 'no can do' I reply.
Alas, I am not good, thinking that appropriate dress is a clean softball t-shirt.
My neighbor's daughter lived in Baltimore for some time. She and her roommates talked about weddings. Laura mentioned that she had attended a wedding which was a potluck followed by a kickball game. Sounds reasonable to me. Her friends were aghast, how could that be? She retorted "I'm from Washington and we can do what we want"
It truly may be a left coast issue. I've offered a dress shirt and a tie.....
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