Photoessay #218 - This year - Losses (pt. 2)

Lanaya Barnes - my mother in law passed away the night before Thanksgiving. She had been debilitated for many years, in the nursing home for 5 1/2 years and long years of decline before that. My father-in-law selflessly cared for her for many years without complaint. But, eventually, it was for too much for him. He felt guilty that he could no longer care for her and faithfully visited her at least once per day until shortly before his death in Feb 2006.

Lanaya prided herself on her creativity and her activity. She loved to work and used her many visual and design talents to transform her home. She had a tremendous sense of space and color and could easily visualize what would look great in a room. She would often come to my home and say "You know, what you need right there is a mirror" and soon, she would return with a beautiful mirror and would install it in it's proper place. Good thing that I wasn't picky about this sort of thing! I always appreciated it.

Great with clothes too. Fifteen years ago, my husband said "I'm 40 years old and my mother still dresses me" I replied "And it's a good thing too" Of course, an exaggeration. But she tirelessly shopped and selected just the right combinations.

Really her death signaled the end of the "Jim and Lanaya" partnership. Such an involved, active and 'smart' couple. They always were looking good and so dedicated to each other. As Victoria said "It was always all about them"

Lanaya, also renowned for her great beauty, tended to be a bit retiring and shy. She always accepted me warmly, her rather ugly-duckling daughter in law. She always had good ideas for me and wanted to be involved in her grandchildrens' lives.

Though she has not been 'around' for many years, we will both miss Jim and Lanaya with their high energy and good spirits.

I don't think I've featured this picture though it is one of my husband's favorities. From around 1975, Lanaya sizing up her new home (she always loved to move to new homes) and planning her decorating projects.