The plans have come together regarding my mother in law's memorial. Lanaya passed away late on the night before Thanksgiving. She had resided at the nursing home for over 5 years. Just shy of her 81st birthday. It's hard to describe her life during the last few years as anything but miserable. She needed total care and could make no purposeful movement nor could she make eye contact. She often would show agitated behavior. Who knew what actually could be going on inside? One would not wish her a single extra day.
What to do? The memorial almost two years ago was really for the two of them. We made that very clear. At first, Dennis considered direct burial. My mother invoked the image of a final resting place by Jim's side. Very powerful and so so true. When we designed the headstones two years ago, we recognized the central truth of their lives, each other. The headstones are mirror images of each other, with the titles "Loving husband" and "Loving wife" As my sister in law said, that was what it was about always for them, their marriage, love and commitment to each other.
We went to the cemetery not far from our house and saw the spot, that little place to Jim's right, waiting for her to join him. We will have a private graveside ceremony on Tuesday, just our immediate family. We'll have flowers. Then a nice lunch.
Pictured are the two of them probably about 12-15 years ago at the UW Arboretum. And the spot where Lanaya will be laid to rest.
1 comment:
How sad to live a life and have the last part be so bad. She's home now, with her loving husband. As you said, by his side.
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